Hello Jackie

I wanted to say something to you. I thought about what I wanted to say but the words - well, they just didn't seem to want to flow. When I listen to people, and I do listen, what I usually hear are people using far too many words, far too little meaning.

I like to believe that I am a pragmatist. My own epistemological underpinnings are rooted in the idea of proficiency. As I see the world - there are far too many people taking far too many steps to get where they already are. Sounds strange to hear myself say that last statement out loud - yet not as strange as the activity that statement is designed to address. Consider this. The notion of repetition in relation to any ongoing behavioral pattern that leads someone into a certain state of consciousness.

Example: Person meets person -- person feels certain feelings. These two people are in the mode of familiarity. That is, they both feel a certain feeling, they like this feeling. They each give credit to the other for being able to experience this feeling, when it would be more accurate to give credit for having elicited the feeling. Where does the feeling come from if not from inside the person who is experiencing the feeling?

Now it gets interesting. The mindset is one that actually has hypnotized itself into thinking that this other person is truly responsible for this feeling. Next comes the behavior. Behavior that is designed, on both sides of the equation, to make the other person act in a certain way. Why? To maintain the status quo. "If you act the way I need you to act, then I can continue to feel this feeling." A faulty proposition at best. Once any individual experiences any experience, the feelings that result from that experience now belong to that individual. The next thing is to decide - do I like this feeling, or not. If yes -- I can feel this feeling anytime I want to. If not, I can put it aside.

And to go one step further, there is the inevitable breakdown in communication that occurs when two people are so structured that they have to control one another. The relationship then breaks down, and both parties go out into the world to find carbon copies of who they already are. In other words, they go out to find the same person who they were with, even if the faces change. A mirror will always be just that -- a mirror, it only offers a reflection - nothing more. But to go inside, to the place were one's own magic resides - well my friend, that is everlasting.

Let me side-step here for a moment, as there are varying degrees of congruency. The ideal would be for the perfect. Yet, it is in the seeking of perfection that we are doomed to mediocrity. Girlfriend - we are already perfect! What we do is not what makes us perfect. What we accomplish is not what makes us perfect. We are simply born that way.

But herein lies the difficulty. Far too many people got into their heads the notion that we weren't perfect because we were not living the way they thought we should live. And for generations the myth proliferated as a means of gaining control over the masses. And I will say that it has been effective. As I look back at my own life I can't even begin to count the times I felt less than because someone else said that what I was doing was wrong, that I was wrong.

When I started this letter I said that I had wanted to say something to you, and through all of my ramblings I now know what that something is. You said that in talking to me you felt valued. And as cool as that feels for me to have been a part of that, I must emphasize that was all I was -- a part of that. The value that you felt was always a part of you. All I did was to recognize what was already there. Sure, I was determined to touch you in that place of value, but still you let me - it was an experience that we both shared. The really cool thing is that now that you have experienced that value, you can realize that it is your own value - you own it, Jackie -- it is yours. And I am the one who feels honored as you let me in where few have gone - you put aside your fears, your apprehensions, and you let me touch you. This to me is the greatest gift one human being can ever offer to another. And for this I say thank you, thank you, and -- sigh - thank you!

MORE--

The days they come, the days they go,
some are thunderous, some just flow.
Like the powerful music of a symphony,
or the beauty a flower shows to me.
Or how the thunder clouds they form a pounding hell,
or the messages the birds they tell.
Or like the ocean's fury scorn,
the wonderment - a baby's born.
The lightning strikes it breaks the ground,
a feather falls, yet makes no sound.

The days they show so much to me,
I live with awe and curiosity.
But I know I miss some things, it's true.
Tell me, do you sometimes miss a thing or two?
Or is it that you see it all,
the fish, the trees, the wonderment, both big and small.
The stars, the many grains of sand,
all the lines upon your hand.
The germs, the seeds, the way they grow.
The thoughts you have, what do you know?
There's some that say they know what's true,
tell me do you know too?

Not me my friend, I only see,
what each day, it wants to show to me.
And with each day that comes along,
I take its gifts, I sing its songs.
Then there comes a day my friend,
a final day - my earthly end.
A day so powerful a day so bold,
a day when the mystery of life unfolds.
Until that day it comes to be,
I'll live my life with curiosity.
Now maybe you know a thing or two,
but is what you know really true?

"My ecstasy tonight frees itself from its physical bounds, it reaches into places were only angels sing. The heavens open up to me, and I am filled with a humility in the sight of what I see, of what I come to learn. As now I truly know, albeit for a timeless second - my value knows no bounds. Only a sense of love profound, tears of joy in what I see - the tethers cut - my souls been freed." CB

Sincerely

Carmine