Hello Name deleted,

Here is a rather quick answer to your request......

At first, I want to suggest that you take a training. But there are many trainers out there who are not very good at teaching people on a behavioral level. I would go as far as saying that I have had at least two hundred people attend over the last five years who were master practitioners that had yet to learn NLP behaviorally. So, if you do take a training, find someone who you feel can do what you want to be able to learn how to do. There is a difference between conscious understanding, and behavioral competence.

That aside, think about this. What are you wanting to change in yourself that you have yet to change? Now forget it, and read on.

I want you to begin by thinking about which is the more effective level on which to have the biggest effect with yourself, or with others?

First of all, let me state that behavior is merely a tool. Something you do, and not who you are. And in most cases, it is not as useful to work at the level of behavior. Behaviors, when designed appropriately, are designed to function in a context. Useful behavior is context dependent, and if you are going to be making changes in yourself, and are deciding to work first on the level of behavior, you are in store for a great deal of work. However, if you begin by working on the level of "values" and beliefs", you can effect a great deal of behavior by an elegant and simple piece of change work. Here is an example for you to first think about.

I had this client who was ordered by his M.D. to make some specific changes in his behavior. He was told to quit smoking, exercise, change his diet, reduce the intake of fats, and to lower his levels of stress. He went to a therapist and spent over six months not accomplishing much at all. And when he came to me, the first thing I did, was to gather information about how he structured his value system, and exactly what his values were, and in what order. Even though values can change from context to context, many people have a value system that pretty much generalizes across contexts. Here are the values I discoverd in him, and the order in which they functioned....

1-Money 2-love 3-sex 4-friends 5-family 6-health

I stopped there. And let me add, I don't even pretend to know what he means using these words. And I do not want to impose my own meanings thus violating him with content which may not be necessary for him. Instead, I was there to help him comply with his wishes, which was to help him change the behaviors his M.D. suggested he change. But rather than wrestle with a dozen or so different behaviors, I changed one thing, and all of the behaviors changed themselves over the next month.

What I did was to effectively move his value of health, using his other values of money, love and sex as leverage, and a convincer, while calibrating to how he responded to the first value in his criteria, so that when I moved health into that first position, I was able to make certain he congruently made this shift.

As I moved the value itself, I said something to the effect of, "I know how important money, love and sex is to you, so much so, that given the situation, you will do what you need to, allowing you to experience more, and if you think about it, you are about to drop dead from your present unhealthy condition, and are going to miss out on a lot more money, love and sex, ( here is where I actually slid the heath belief into the first slot)than if, Hmmmmmm, you suddenly discovered how important your health is to you, and all the more years you will have, as you wind up earning even more money, sharing it with your loved ones, as you wind up becoming one of those men who is still sexually active many years past your prime.

I didn't tell him I had moved this image he held as a value, I just moved it. That part was more or less covert. And when I was done, he had very little clue of what had happened, and left not knowing how much he had changed. And when I called him a month later, seeing how he was doing, he told me he was sorry, and that he no longer needed my help. He said that he had figured it out by himself, and was now a totally new man.

You see, when you start out making changes for yourself, start by building in new belief’s. I will suggest a few which you can try on, or you can certainly come up with a few on your own.

I can learn to do anything I chose to do.

I can change anything I want to change, easily.

I am a very capable person who can go out into the world and create anything I want to create.

Or what ever you chose.

Here is a step by step process you can use to install these beliefs. Please take the time to follow what I offer, step by step.

First, I want you to think of something that is totally true for you. Not just a belief, but something that is true.

Do you need air to stay alive?

Can you tie your shoes?

Can you lift a fork?

Lets use the one about needing air to stay alive. Pretend that you are making an image of needing air to stay alive.

I once had a client who was shooting heroin into her jugular veins. The veins in her arms and legs were beginning to collapse from years of sticking needles in them. Now, she was desperate to get free of the drugs, but had failed at every attempt she had made so far.

So she comes in for her first and only visit, and I am trying anything I can think of to reach her. I go for a maneuver where I want to anchor something she is totally convinced of. So I ask her if she needs air to stay alive, and she says no. I ask her again, and discover that she actually believes that she does not need air to stay alive. So, I go into the closet and take out a plastic bag. And in an effort to make my point, I say to her, "since you say you do not need air to stay alive, then you wont mind putting this plastic bag over you head."

I really did not expect what happened next. She grabs the bag, puts it over her own head, looks at me, and says.."see!" Me, not wanting her to actually think she doesn't need air, I decide to help her out a bit. I hold the bag in place, and in about thirty seconds, she begins to realize that this is not a good idea, and tells me to take it off. I pretend to not hear her, as I watch the clock making certain that I do not harm her. I kept he bag there until she was almost panicking, then I pulled it off, while at the same time hollering...LOOK AT THIS, and I held in front of her eyes the her hypodermic needle.

She quit shooting up in that very second. In fact, about five years later, I had to help her with the needle phobia I installed so that she could get a much needed shot from her doctor.

Now, look at that pretended image of needing air to stay alive, and make it bigger and brighter, turning up the feelings you have about it. Now, mark out that image, and make it bigger still yet. Hmmmmmm, that ought to do it.

Now, think of something you think of as a possibility. Not something which is true, but only a possibility. Is it possible you can learn something new? Is it possible that you can go someplace you have never been? Think of anything you chose which you only consider as a possibility. Now, in the same location of what you are thinking of as a possibility, build in the possibility that you can learn to use NLP with yourself. Don't make it something true yet, because before it will be true for, you will have to do more. So for now, just make it something which is possible. . . . .

Others have learned how to learn how to use NLP with, and for themselves. You, well you have yet to learn this. But since others have, the possibility does exist that it is possible that you too can also learn how to as you move into the future. And, it makes me wonder, Hmmmmm just how soon you will realize that you can take this possibility, that you can learn how to use NLP with yourself, and quickly slide it into the same location as needing air to stay alive. And as you do move this image into the same location as needing air to stay alive, I want you, in your head to wonder, Hmmmmm, just how soon you will begin building in the necessary choices and behaviors which will allow you to find yourself finding yourself using the skills you have, which in the past, were only something you understood consciously.

I remember when I was young, there were so many things I could do, but one. I couldn't tie my shoe laces. I knew how to do it, I could see the images in my head, but every time I tried, It never came together.

I didn't give up, as I tried, and tried, and tried. But still, I couldn't do it. Then, one day, I said "I quit", as this is something I will never be able to do, and I forgot about it.

The next day, I put on my shoes, and without even realizing it, I tied my shoe laces. And, when it finally hit me what I had done, I stood up, looked at the world, and said to myself, "if I can to this, i can do anything......"

I was getting ready to take this test, one that I had forgotten to study for. I remember the concern as I sat down and started by answering the first question. They were in a multiple choice format, and one of them had to be the right one. Yet, when I got to the second question, I didn't know which was the right answer...

A week later, I receive this letter in the mail, and realize it was the results of the test I had taken. I had not only passed, but had also aced the test as well. I wondered how that happened. And for years, as I was very young then, I never did figure it out. Then, years later, while teaching a class on the fundamentals of digital switching gates, I discovered that I was using tonal anchors to mark out what was important for the students to remember. And at that very moment, my mind went Hmmmmm, and I found myself remembering how I was able to remember the answers to the questions on that test. The teacher had marked out the important points also using tonal anchors. And although I though I was guessing, I wasn't guessing at all. Because at an other than conscious level, I already knew what I needed to know.

Remember, if you do decide to take a training, make certain you do so with someone who can demonstrate what they talk about. it's one thing to talk about something, another to be able to do it. Me, I have never been one who was interested in gymnastics. Yet, while watching the Olympics, I enjoyed very much watching the gymnastic competition. In fact, I learned so much about gymnastics, we could talk about it all day. But if you give me a balance beam, and at this point, I would probably take it apart, using the wood to build something else. I certainly wouldn't get on the thing and start doing flips!

Oh, what were those other belifes I suggested you might try on? Er, um, I remember now...

I can learn to do anything I chose to do.

I can change anything I want to change, easily.

I am a very capable person who can go out into the world and create anything I want to create. Hmmmmm, that ought to do it for mow.

Just some thoughts.

Stay well.

Carmine