The Power of Persuasion, to begin with, is a functional model of powerfully effective, and persuasive communication. And it doesn't matter what domain of skill you are in, this model will improve your ability to communicate effectively regardless of the context. Anyone from a child's parent, to nuclear engineer, will gain a considerable edge by adopting this as a WORKING model of effective, persuasive communication. Since we can not separate out communication and persuasion, e.g. they are one and the same from the point that you can not communicate with another person without at the same time influencing that person. And, if you are going to be influencing that person, I think it would be MORE respectful if you knew exactly in what direction your influence was leading a person. The opposite would be when you were not willing to take responsibility for your communication.

In the case of accepting personal responsibly , you are doing more. You are making certain that you are maximizing your opportunity for delivering clear, effective, meaningful communication that is based on a cleanly chosen outcome. In this case you wind up knowing what you want to get across, and how best to get that message across to this person. And you will also have the ability of knowing when you have completed that task and are ready to move on. In all, you are communicating in a powerfully impact-full way that becomes unforgettable. And if you are not making an impact, then someone else will. And if we are talking about you children. The future of your most meaningful relationships. Your financial position, or any other aspect in which your own ability to communicate effectively is going to be the basis of your own accomplishments, then we are also taking about the difference between getting what you want...and, well, anything else. Myself, I am not willing to settle for anything other than building a life that is filled with the kinds of rich choices that I decide I want. And that is what the following skills mean to me, to the many people I have trained in this WORKING model through the years.

Now, before going into the skill sets, I am going to first list what I have uncovered while modeling some of worlds greatest professional communicators. There is more to learning a model than just the installation of the specific strategies used inside of that model. There needs to be something there that is designed to DRIVE the strategies. There also needs to be an effective, accurate feedback system which is designed specifically for the purpose of knowing where you are in the process of any communication, and in which direction you need to go next. A more COMPLETE model will contain synergistic cooperation between all rep-systems, value systems, belief or presuppositional foundations. Add to this a set of strategies which function in the same direction, but on different logical levels, and for completing tasks for 1. How the model handles the elicited response, And 2. How you design your next set of outputs . In order for the model to function at peak performance, there needs to be a complete, congruent installation of all of the piece. If you leave ANY of the pieces of this model out, the effectiveness of the model will suffer.

Here is a description of some of the pieces of the model. If we take the time to go over each part, making certain that all parts are working together, we are increasing our chances of building in a more successful model.

1. Attitude at the level of conviction.

What is your attitude about life? About learning? About teaching? About success? Will your current attitude about power of communication support the rest of the model?

2. Value system.

What are the values out of you choose to operate? When it is time to build in the presuppositional foundation for this model, will they support one another? If you have a value system which is built upon a win/lose negotiation, then attempt to build in a presupposition which says that what the other person wants in this communication is important, the possibility will exist for some incongruency in the system. The more congruent, the more effective.

3. Beliefs, or Presuppositions.

Again, first we keep our eye on congruency between values and beliefs (do they work together?), then we look at whether the beliefs used in this model actually support the strategies/skills sets layered on top of them. If the trainer first demonstrates, then teaches a skill for, say, eliminating a phobia, will the beliefs you hold actually provide a congruent platform for your using this skill? If you have the tools, the actual skill, but do not believe that the tools will work, you will be offering a less then CONGRUENT communication.

There is no substitute for congruence. Of all of the process that make up this persuasion model, congruence is the most important.

Now, there are actual skill sets. But, the foundation goes first. Here are some possible presuppositions of this model.

1. People are inherently brilliant.

2. People can learn to do anything they want to do, easily.

3. Rapport is a natural function of communication which is brought about by honoring the person with whom you are communicating.

4. The goal is in finding out what the other person wants. Then in discovering how you can help that other person reach that goal.

5. When selling a product, targeting people who are already interested in that product makes sense.

6. There is no resistance, only feedback.

7. Communicating effectively is not about being in control, but rather about being able to recognize what you are, in fact, eliciting with your communication, and having the flexibility to adjust accordingly.

There are more, but I will stop here.

Next, there are the states of consciousness in which the model will function. Rather than challenge any models you now have about persuasion or communication in general, which to me is the same thing. Whether I want to teach something, give someone directions, share my love with someone who is special to me, I am eliciting responses. If I do not elicit the appropriate responses, then I will not be successful in getting my message across. If I have given someone directions on how to get downtown, and they STILL do not understand, I have not been effective with my communication.

I remember when I was teaching a series on parenting skills. I was teaching people how they could attach something to one of their children just in the way they were languaging what they had to say. If little Johnny was doing something bad, like biting his sister, how that was languaged was of the utmost importance. There is a difference in effect between Saying that Johnny was a bad boy for doing this, or that what Johnny was doing was bad. In the first example, the language was more permanent--Johnny himself was BAD. In the second example, the act itself was bad, but there was still hope for Johnny.

But try as I might, I was not fully getting my point across. So I had them do an exercise. I had them get into groups of three in which they would get the chance to occupy three different positions. The first position, A, was in being the person who was wanting to discipline Johnny. The second position, B, was a Meta position, in which the person was not to make any judgments about the interaction between person A, and person C. But instead position B was to be used only from a neutral perspective to notices the effects of the communication between A and C, with C being the position of the person (Johnny) being disciplined. I had the people in this exercise cycle through all three positions. And when we were done, each person was able to understand the physical difference of how their bodies experienced the different ways of languaging disciplinary action. They had to first experience the states. Only then did they have a solid understanding of the content being offered.

You see, there is more to effective communication than JUST getting your outcome. An example might be some of what happened here in this newsgroup of late. Someone, and I will not mention any names, promised me that I would be made to pay if I did not do what that person asked of me. Not being one to be extorted, I CHOSE not to give in. Now, in the short term, with the use of some of the most vile language, and a complete disregard for anything truthful, that person was able to convince others to join him in this hateful campaign. But, that is in the short term. When all is said and done, the long term, there will be legal consequences for the actions that were taken here, period!!!

When you set out to get an outcome, and you use a win/lose frame, or if you choose to abandon any future possible consequences for that communication, you will be opening the door for eventual failure. When negotiating, it is most useful to consider what the outcomes of your communication will be. Both for the short and the long term.

One of the things I have discovered more than most, is that many people do not run the movies they have for their outcomes far enough into the future. Nor, is it common for people to consider how their communication will effect an overall community, or family. There are many examples of people doing something which will gain a more immediate desirable outcome, while at the same time ignoring what any future consequences might be.

When I look at some of the most successful business out there, say Microsoft and Intel, I see a clear set of examples which allow for long term thinking. The same could be illustrated with how a single person chooses to organize there own internal world model. I have seen of late many disjointed models offered here in this newsgroup. I have seen wisdom set aside for the purpose of either making money, or proving oneself right. You can not disrespect the system and expect that system to deliver. You can not expect to master any model without first having all of the pieces of that model.

Here, again, we will start with the highest chunk levels first. We start with a foundation for layering on the skills.

Attitude

Values

Beliefs

States

Strategies

We go for congruency as a minimum. We BUILD in the supporting cast. Then we build in the skill sets. If you ONLY build in the skill sets you wind up with inconsistent short term results. If you build in ONLY the foundation, you also wind up with inconsistent results as well. In order for the model to function at it's most successful level, you need ALL of the pieces.

Lets take a look at the strategic skills sets here if you will.

But only after we have built in a solid, congruent foundation which is designed specifically for the model being taught, we begin with the rest.

However, it would be useful to start with a new decision strategy. One designed rather specifically, and for making certain that we are choosing wisely. What good is it if we are only successful in the short term while the long term suffers? On the same hand, we want to be certain that we can do both as well as possible. We want short term and long term success. If that is what we want, then that is what we have to design. It is not likely that it will happen by accident. Even if we have ALL of the skills in the world, and we do not make really great decisions on what we will be using those skills for, then where do we wind up?

So, we want to now design in a comprehensive decision strategy. That is why I have NEVER offered Practitioner and master practitioner trainings. In my opinion, just giving people skills while ignoring rest of the system, or something close to that, is simply not useful. That is why I created Human Performance Engineering. I wanted to build a system that worked. I knew from years of experience what happened when you took a faulty, incongruent belief system and layered skills on top of that. I knew of the significance of building in congruent functioning systems. I knew there had to be more to developing effective models than just teaching skill sets.

Now, when we build in this decision strategy, we might want to take into consideration the following.

To learn from we begin with:

Times when you have made less than useful decisions.

Times when you made really great decisions.

Ecology, from the point of thinking about how you think across contexts. How will this decision effect, not only the context of where you are when you make it, but how will it effect all of the other contexts you occupy? Also, what will making this decision do for you one year down the road? Two? Five? And, as you think about this, you can also think about the different contexts you do occupy daily.

You see, now, after we have built in the congruent foundation, a new decision strategy worth using, where do we go from here?

Here we can begin looking at the context of persuasion of communication from the point of skills, and further choice point strategies. You decide what you are going for, what the purpose of a given communication is. You run that outcome through your decision strategy...and if all is well... you run with it.

Now, you are in the actual face to face, and you are gong for it. What else do you need?

Well, you need to be able to calibrate really well. You need to be able to elicit an agreement frame as a reference for when you are on track...and when you need to adjust. Oh, adjust...how will you know it is time to adjust? What will let you know which rep system you need to use in what moment and for what part of which communication, and with whom?

How will you be tasking your communication? Which parts do you offer consciously? Unconsciously? How will you keep track of what you are doing? How will you keep track to which parts of what you have offered and are working? If you are teaching, how will you calibrate along the way, making certain that you know what has been accepted, and what you have to do in the way of adjusting your output so that you can help that person get what they are there for?

What about selling? Do you know the difference between selling and buying? Do you have to sell someone, or can you simply elicit in the person you are communicating with a state where they would just LOVE to buy? Love to love? Love to help? Love to contribute? Are you making certain that you are on track? How are you doing this?

The process of interpersonal communication is monumental. Yet, it is simply one of the most natural acts on this planet. If you build a useful model, then you will not have to worry about whether you are doing it right. You can build in a whole set of NEW intuitions.

So we have......

The foundations....

The decisions strategies....

Now we build in the skills. But before we do, we first take the time to eliminate redundancy. What can you do already which can be used for building this model?

One strategize skill set might be...

Select outcome. Calibrate to present state, and to outcome state. Begin using your communication as a means of affecting that outcome. Pay attention to the response you are getting. Check the response to the outcome, or at least to where you are in getting that outcome. Then, adjust your output. Test again.

The other day I was watching this young boy as he so skillfully lied to his father. It's not that I think lying is a good thing, but rather that he was demonstrating the skills taught in a practitioner training far better than any practitioner I had ever met. And, he didn't even know it.

He got caught with his hand in the cookie jar. He then reframed the event by saying he was getting the cookie for his dad. Then, when his dad said. "but I do not want a cookie" He quickly demonstrated a high level of flexibly, saying "well, if you don't want to eat it, I guess I will have to"

Here was this three year old, calibrating dad. Paying attention like a hawk. He was noticing his dads every move. Listening carefully to every word. Then, if that is not significant in itself, he carefully used his own output, staying one step ahead of dad, all along intent on getting his outcome.

Now, you take that experience, clean it up by removing the NEED for lying, you will have saved a days training. Now you have the basis for a strategic skill set designed for quickly utilizing a feed-forward loop while operating in Uptime. All of the pieces are there. All of them. Now, you take this elicitation and build in as part of the new model. This can be done throughout the learning process. By using large chunks like this, you can eliminate many unnecessary steps in the process of learning.

If you take what you already know how to do, and you re-organize that information while placing on top of a congruent foundational system, and you do so in the order of how you will be wanting to use these skill sets in the future, you will then FIND yourself using them automatically in the context they are then designed to be used in, and in the order they need to be used.

I began by wanting to offer another way to look at communication and persuasion. The most important skills I have ever developed have been in the area of communication. It really doesn't matter what your interests. The field in which you work. Whatever personal tastes you have. If you can not impact or effect the people you want, or need to effect, the level of success you will be able to generate will also be affected. It's like I tell parents. If you do not reach your children, then someone else will. You have to compete with their teachers, friends and peers. You will have less time with them. And, you need to be ultimately effective inside of that space and time.

Think about what I have laid out in this post. Think about how you think about communication in general. Think about what your beliefs are in this area as well. If you think you can benefit, then make it a point to learn as much as you can about improving your own position in life. I don't care if you want to have a better career, want to get close to that man/woman you have had your eye on, the key that will open the world to you is right inside of who you have learned, or can learn to communicate with more effectively.

Stay well

Carmine